Quite often I have been focused on what an individual is doing or is not doing that is impacting my behavior. When it came to taking care of my body by eating the right foods and exercising, I could easily say I was stressed so I ate certain foods. Or I could justify that they always have unhealthy foods at work, so that is why I end up eating it. Or I have to buy it for the kids and my husband certain foods, so what am I supposed to do? Or, I have to run the kids around to all of their extracurricular activities so I don’t have time to exercise.
As long as I looked outside of myself, I could not change. Even when the right person was around to offer suggestions to help me, I could not hear them. My heart and my mind was closed to anything they had to say. I would be defensive and debate them. I felt I already knew the answer.
Even in business, one of my mentors has patiently worked with me for years. She would piss me off telling me how I was interrupting her in conversation. Sometimes my points were valid. Over the years she has learned from me as well. We are both strong-minded individuals. However, the point is, my listening skills were horrible! She doesn’t know it, but even when I appeared to be listening because my lips were not moving, in my mind, I would cut her off, tell her off, and shut the front door. :). I just wanted to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to waddle in my misery; for hours sometimes, even though I didn’t think I thought that way. Anytime she or anyone I respected would say things like I was in control of my destiny or I bought into my life exactly what was happening, I thought; what the hell? Are you crazy. I didn’t ask for this crap!!
I didn’t understand the philosophical meaning. There are absolutely things you cannot control. How you respond in a given situation is COMPLETELY in your control!!
Getting back to this mentor, she would remind me all the time that I interrupted her again. Thank God I have had people like her who never gave up on me! And because God knew my intention was to heal and be the best version of myself, the universe was constantly giving me opportunities for learning. When other people interrupted me, for example, I didn’t like it.
Fortunately for me, even though I have not always been coach-able, subconsciously, I have always had a thirst for knowledge. Slowly but surely, the taste of McDonald’s fries was replaced with…. Chic-fil-a at first. LOL. Nowadays, I do not long for that stuff; ever. Don’t get it twisted. I won’t say I will never eat that crap again; but overall I don’t want it.
Because I am a now a wellness professional, when I am around other people and food, they make comments on why they eat what they eat, or how it doesn’t impact their overall health. This is without saying anything at all. They will tell me they need to cut back on salt, for example, while shaking the salt shaker the whole time. Even if I try to share what I know, they will debate what I say; so I shut up. I know they are not ready to receive it; at least not today. I do not judge them because I have been there. We are all a work in progress.
Let me just say, if you are not getting the results you want, there is probably a better way. There is probably another way of looking at the situation that will be helpful when you are ready to see it.